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Sometimes, I wanna be the type of woman who lives in an apartment in a foggy, autumnal city; who listens to jazz and blues and likes to drink warm things; has shelves lined with recipes and maps and books written by close friends; with a closet filled wool the color of sweet potatoes and violets. what part of the brain is affected when you can’t recognize an otherwise prosaic object? Example: I am reading a story and I came across the word “loud.” I couldn’t recognize it. For some reason, the word, the pronunciation and the definition did not occur to me at all. I saw “loud” as a misspelling of “lude” and had to ignore the whole sentence because I couldn’t decipher the overall meaning. I left the story, made some spaghetti, watched some television and came back to the word. For some reason, it made sense then. Loud became loud again. An english word meaning increased volume. What happened to my brain before? I should note that I haven’t been feeling well all day. Headaches, cramps, dizziness and fatigue have been plaguing me and I’ve been chalking it up to menstruation but it’s still pretty weird. I dunno man. I dunno. When do I cross the line from proper black person to nigger? so if I were to change my name to Shaniqua or Waquintasha does that mean that everything I’ve done everything I could do All the good and brilliance I am capable of will be wiped out, Bill Cosby? Because of the unconventionality of my name? Because my name doesn’t conform to what is considered good and right and proper?
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